Three years ago, Jason B. Rosenthal’s wife Amy wrote an essay that went viral, titled “You May Want to Marry My Husband.” Shortly afterwards, she lost her battle with ovarian cancer. It was then that Jason decided to reevaluate his life’s work. He spoke to Squarespace about how he’s dealing with loss during a time of crisis - and how it is embedded within his larger message of resilience and growth.
SQUARESPACE: Your new memoir, ‘My Wife Said You May Want to Marry Me,’ was just published. Has the current pandemic shifted the way in which you want to share your story with the world?
Jason Rosenthal: Yes. I was scheduled to go on a book tour. Part of what makes my personal story so meaningful to people all around the world is my ability to connect with those who want to share their stories of loss with me. It is so valuable to look people in the eye and develop a deep connection over a shared tale of loss. After all, as I have said before, loss is loss is loss. When we share a deeply personal story, we reach a deeper understanding of one another. Having said that, I quickly pivoted, as we all have. Issues have gripped our country and the world that rightly have taken precedence over us authors’ stories. We are still in the grips of a global pandemic. Who would have thought? Of course, we have seen deeply divisive language over the systemic racism prevalent in our country that has come to light in the spotlight of George Floyd’s killing. I am hopeful that we all will find a way to communicate our own personal experiences to better understand one another.
SQSP: What do you hope people take away from reading your memoir?
JR: My book is divided in 3 parts: love, loss and life. I hope people see what the beauty of a meaningful and giving relationship and family life is like. The middle section is a tough read, as it focuses on Amy's end of life and her death. This section forces us to confront issues we in this country do not like to talk about much, the end of life. Finally, there is the topic of resilience. It is not an easy path, and I provide many examples of what it takes to work on and find resiliency within oneself.
SQSP: So many people are dealing with loss – in many different forms – during this crisis. What has been most helpful to you in navigating a new world after loss?
JR: We have to embrace that what we are experiencing is truly a form of loss and grieving for that loss is normal, important even. Recognizing this, with time, we can begin to relearn what it is like to experience some joy. I did this with my incredible family. I pursued my passion for music, which I knew would bring me emotions only good music can do. I embraced outreach from my amazing friends. Ultimately, I began to practice mindfulness and started a daily meditation practice which has been very helpful.
SQSP: You also work to honor Amy’s legacy with the Amy Krause Rosenthal Foundation. How has creating this organization helped you heal?
JR: I have used my fresh start to create a foundation in Amy’s honor with a twofold mission: On the one hand, making women and health care providers aware of the importance of early detection of ovarian cancer. Statistics show that early detection of ovarian cancer can result in a 90% 5 year survival rate, whereas, with most cases that are discovered in the late stages that typically result in a 20% rate of survival. On the other hand, we engage in child literacy programming. We have donated tens of thousands of books to kids all over the country.
Forming and working on this foundation has been some of the most meaningful work I have ever engaged in and I am jazzed to continue its good work moving forward.
SQSP: Have recent events changed the way you use your online presence—both to get the word out about your memoir and to support the foundation?
JR: Most definitely. Except for the last few weeks, I have dipped much more into my social media accounts. It has been a fun and creative outlet. Social media has its negative connotations, but for me, this platform has been a good way for me to introduce my book to the world. I have also done some live streaming events which have been a great way to connect with many, many people all over the world.
Our foundation is also quite active on social media. There you can see much of Amy’s work and follow what we are up to.
SQSP: What project are you working on next?
JR: I am working on my proverbial blank space. The gift Amy gave me at the end of her beautiful article.
I deeply appreciate what I had with Amy, though it has taken a while to get to that place, because grief is a complex and unforgiving beast. But how lucky was I and all of us who have been to depths of intense grieving? It means that we were the fortunate ones to have loved so deeply, why else would we have such intense reactions to loss?
In terms of a specific project, I am working on some things that are not far enough along to comment on yet, but I have now accepted this new chapter, my blank page, as an opportunity to challenge myself, to grow, to be a better citizen, a better person and a good Dad.
I intend to continue to challenge myself professionally with meaningful work.